Hmm, what a day- WHAT A DAY! I yelled from the top of my lungs kicking my car door. Well, I did curse everyone a bit in my head for being opportunists, for using me for their advantage, and not letting me live my life. I wish I’d said “You all suck!” while leaving my office gate. Oops, ex-office! Can I call it an ex? For now, let me call whatever names I want to. Yep, I’m fuming inside out, carrying my family pictures, stationery, and a few report files I was support to present on. I was one of those who were let go from our jobs while I had my hopes up of getting promoted.
Just three weeks ago, my boss called me inside his office and asked me how I liked working for him. He stated that he was impressed with my work, and thus would like to see me growing in the company. I loved my work as a junior financial analyst; good salary, good benefits, compensation and health insurance- what more could I have asked for? Had been working there since last five years; well, sometimes, times were rough and me and my team had to work countless nights to keep our company going even in a rough economy. I had my job, that’s all I was thankful for- increasing stress, declining family time, and decreasing social life were all part of the job, and yet I didn't complain. I knew I was working my way to the top, and without hard-work, it would not be possible.
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I had earned the recognition twice as the employee of the month; I even heard it from the CEO “Employees like you are the pillars of our company!” What an achievement! Well, I was doing my part, and they were doing theirs. I had to make sure the company improves on my part, while they had to assure that they make their part of shares continually. While we worked endlessly to keep our jobs, they were working continuously to make sure they keep theirs- thus, the merger with an emerging company with completely different fundamentals. None of the frontline employees knew-not even those who were told that they will be promoted soon.
Three weeks later, I was told to collect all my belongings and exit the company’s gate. They said they regretted the decision and that they were bounded by the rough times. I was thanked for my performance and contribution with best wishes. Ha! I wish I could have said, “Thank you for rewarding me with betrayal!” Well, I couldn’t- I was still trying to register the news in my head. I wished it was easier to shed tears, but no- I was a freaking man! I was not supposed to exhibit my disappointment or sorrow, and my job had taught me to master that pretense.
I come home distressed and disappointed- Why me? Why? What had I done wrong? I asked all the questions on my mind. No answer. Aggravation! My fury rises when I see my messy house, unwashed dishes in the sink, scattered papers, highlighters, and pencils I used to prepare for my presentation, laundry waiting to be done, and most of all, hunger- I hadn’t eaten anything since morning. I dropped the box from my hand, and slid down to sit on the floor- the mess added to my disappointment in my ruined life. 35, single, and jobless- messed up with nothing to look forward to. What a life! I realized that I lost my youth trying to reach the top—left the girl that loved me, moved to a big city to seek better opportunities, and hadn’t seen my family in years. I worked days and nights, even holidays to keep myself on the top of the charts. What for? Everything was ruined, everything!
I sat there hopelessly for hours staring at my parents’ picture. Suddenly, something struck me- a divine feeling that asked me to get my a** off the floor and start straightening the mess I had around me. I had everything scattered on the floor, with a broken frame of my certificate of appreciation from my work. I realized that nothing is over-it’s just a break, a bump that I am meant to pass. I had all my resources--it was all there surrounding me- pencil, highlighter, eraser and a paper. All these years I worked was not for them; it was for me, my growth and knowledge, and I was the one that learned the most from those experiences. All I had to do was put them to use with a new beginning. I rose up, cleared all the junks, organized my files and started staring at the clear paper. I had the best opportunity of my life- to begin something of my own.